Divorce tends to be an emotionally difficult time for everyone involved. Even those who believe a divorce is their best option may still struggle emotionally at the end of a marriage. While people sometimes stereotype men as being stoic and unemotional, the reality is that they may suffer emotionally during a divorce. In fact, they may have a harder time handling divorce than their wives do.
What can make divorce so emotionally devastating for husbands?
A lack of time to prepare
Statistically, women are far more likely to file for divorce than men are. Reports indicate that women file approximately 69% of divorces, meaning that men do not have time to prepare themselves. They receive service with little warning and must then navigate numerous stressful changes to their daily lives. The surprise of a sudden divorce filing can lead to emotional challenges for the man served with paperwork.
Fears about child custody
Many men have heard horror stories about vindictive mothers trying to cut a father out of the lives of his children. Men with minor children may, therefore, feel incredibly anxious about the possibility of an upcoming divorce. They may worry that the courts may favor the mother and that they may lose custody or only have a small percentage of overall parenting time. It can be very difficult for men to overcome the fears they may have of losing their bond with their children. Some give up prematurely and fail to seek shared custody.
Stress related to financial matters
Men who receive less parenting time or who have spouses who stayed home with their children may worry intensely about the financial repercussions of divorce. They may worry about how the courts may divide their property and what ongoing support obligations they may have. That financial stress can take a heavy toll on a man’s overall emotional well-being.
Recognizing that such challenges are relatively common can help men navigate the divorce process with grace and help them to understand when they may need help. Instead of letting their depression and other difficult emotions guide them, they may need to bring in support from those who can remain calm and objective. Those who get the right support have a better chance of securing a positive outcome in both property division and parenting matters.